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Post by unsure on Jan 1, 2005 1:51:02 GMT 1
i work in a large corporate company and want some advice on how to come out at work? god it's killing me...going to work as a man when i so desperately want to be a woman! happy new year...love the pink
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Post by davina on Jan 1, 2005 10:53:47 GMT 1
As with all things, its not what you want that is the problem, but how other people will react. Most people's views on transgendered issues are from what they've seen on the TV and how it was presented. How they have been brought up may also have blinkered their views; race, religeon etc. Other people will not know how to react and take the lead from their peers. Social status also has an influence.
Only you will be able to judge how the news will be received.
Depending on where in the world you work, you may be protected by employee Equal Oppotunity rights which prevents the Company discriminating on such grounds as race, religeon, disablitiy and sexual orientation.
You may lose friends you may gain some friends.
Perhaps you can drop the subject into conversation and gauge reactions, but do stick up for the side, don't make the mistake of going with the majority view to save face, because others may also be doing the same.
Prepare the way, education is key, tell people, in person if you can, be open and honest. Whatever someone's views, they do seem to appreciate honesty and openess.
Be aware that if you do go into work dressed as a woman, some women may get bitchy if you look better than them, and some men may feel intimidated in case you want to hit on them. Again this can be avoided by saying what might happen before you go in.
Not sure if this is any help, its not going to work for everyone, but honesty and openess will probably see you through.
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Post by unsure on Jan 1, 2005 13:48:38 GMT 1
thank you for your words of advice. I am still very nervous about it. But i will try and be brave and do what i feel is right. I have read your blog and feel inspired by you, Happy New Year! Do you go to work as a woman? or are you still coming out?
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Post by davina on Jan 1, 2005 17:21:47 GMT 1
I am still coming out, so my activities en femme are limited, but a quite a few people know about me at work already. One reason for telling them is that it does stop awkward questions like "why have you had your ears pierced", or "have you had eye liner on", or other such questions that may come about as some people are just too observant or nosey, but by telling them they'll then know that anything they notice about you will be because of who you are. Secondly, as I work in IT, I could be called in to sort out any major computer issues at work and if I'm dressed up with nail polish, makeup, perfume etc its not something that you can wipe clean very quickly, and I might have to go in as I am. Its almost like having peace of mind knowing that in that eventuality it would be OK. Of course, it also nice just to be able to talk about in conversation and to laugh about it. Going to work en femme can raise issues such as with ID badges and the like. I take the train and have a annual season ticket, it has my male picture and is not transferrable. There is a different guard on the train every day and trying to explain why you don't look like your picture each time is going to be somewhat embarrassing. It depends really if you want to stay as a woman full time or just dress up when you want to, because the latter means you'll effectively have two identities. Happy New Year to you too!
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Post by nicky on Feb 14, 2005 23:54:38 GMT 1
hi I ve no desire to come out, but have found some comfort in reading theses postings, nicky red
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Post by blod on Apr 23, 2006 23:45:18 GMT 1
I quit living a lie for everyone else, came out and gave my friends the opportunity to get to know the real me. It's a hard path to walk but is easier than the lie i was suffering before, Many people in my old life walked away but i guess they were never close in the first place. The real friendships i gained through coming out is imeasurable and beyond comparison to anything i thought i had before.
I wish you all good luck and many blessings in your path towards acceptance and happiness.
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Post by davina on May 17, 2006 23:48:46 GMT 1
I wish I was as brave as you
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Post by Hanne on May 19, 2006 22:52:19 GMT 1
Thanks a lot for telling me and others about your life! I think it is very brave of you to talk so openly about your feelings! I would never have the courage to do so myself!
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Post by davina on May 20, 2006 11:56:55 GMT 1
You are most welcome Hanne. It if helps others who are in the same situation or to help those that do not understand what it is like to be like this then I am happy to share it.
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